We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
- Sir Winston Churchill

I am a regular blood donor. I call the laboratory three months after my last extraction to ask if they need my blood. Not just because I am an AB+ (few people are if my type so if someone needs it, it’s quite hard to find) but I know very few people have the courage to being punctured and have blood drawn from them. Not to mention that still very few people are qualified to make a donation for health reasons. Besides it is medically good for the health.

I am glad I am still fit to give blood and I am more than happy to being sure that my blood will really save life, well, at least literally.

As I have reflected on the line from Sir Winston Churchill, I realize that we can give not only blood or other material thing. We can also give encouragement to people whom we don’t know are suffering inside. A smile maybe, a text message saying hello, or just a simple “Hi!” will surely make a difference.

Train up a Child when He is Young

I have a friend who grew up from a poor family in the rural environment. He worked at a very young age helping his parents tendering their farm. Although there is plenty of homegrown food to eat, money is scarce. Simple life pleasures are limited to home made toys. No TV, no video games, quality of living is not as good as it was in the city in their time.
He is doing well now as a family man of his own, earning quite much as an employee, living above average in the city. Life’s pleasure is not simple, movies, dinner, electronic gadgets and toys for their only child.
As we were talking one time over a cup of coffee, he said he was happy with the way they are living now. He said, he will give his child everything he feels he was deprived off when he himself was still a child.
I can see how his son got everything he asked for, remote controlled toys, PSP’s, DVD player, and everything. That bothers me, I realized why his child at five years of age been acting as if he’s at the level of his parents. He got used to the thought that his parents would buy everything he asked.
Giving what their child wants is not a problem, but they seem to miss giving him the parental guidance and the moral values to control his attitude.
I remember going through the same as with my friend during my childhood days. I woke up as early as four o’clock, assist my grandparents in the rice field, looking at other kids playing with their toys, eating simple foods and fruits I gather at the forest. Life was simple but fun. I missed it.
I don’t have any resentment for what I have been through. My experience has taught me how to value work and spend my time efficiently, to love and respect my parents more and more each day as I understand how hard they have been going through by experiencing their work myself. I’m sure my friend been the same.
The bible says “Train up a child when he is young, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). It is not wrong to give our kids everything they ask for but let us not forget to show them the real values they should learn out of it.
It’s not bad to make them work a little so they would understand how hard it is to make money. Besides, it’s a good exercise.
What we are making them today will determine what they will be tomorrow. Let us and our experience be their lesson.

Did I Mary the Right Person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?"

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet." Think about the Imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happens TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find” LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression “the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy, and most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),

There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can “make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision"... Not just a feeling…

(this is an excerpt from an email. Author unknown)