We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
- Sir Winston Churchill

I am a regular blood donor. I call the laboratory three months after my last extraction to ask if they need my blood. Not just because I am an AB+ (few people are if my type so if someone needs it, it’s quite hard to find) but I know very few people have the courage to being punctured and have blood drawn from them. Not to mention that still very few people are qualified to make a donation for health reasons. Besides it is medically good for the health.

I am glad I am still fit to give blood and I am more than happy to being sure that my blood will really save life, well, at least literally.

As I have reflected on the line from Sir Winston Churchill, I realize that we can give not only blood or other material thing. We can also give encouragement to people whom we don’t know are suffering inside. A smile maybe, a text message saying hello, or just a simple “Hi!” will surely make a difference.

Train up a Child when He is Young

I have a friend who grew up from a poor family in the rural environment. He worked at a very young age helping his parents tendering their farm. Although there is plenty of homegrown food to eat, money is scarce. Simple life pleasures are limited to home made toys. No TV, no video games, quality of living is not as good as it was in the city in their time.
He is doing well now as a family man of his own, earning quite much as an employee, living above average in the city. Life’s pleasure is not simple, movies, dinner, electronic gadgets and toys for their only child.
As we were talking one time over a cup of coffee, he said he was happy with the way they are living now. He said, he will give his child everything he feels he was deprived off when he himself was still a child.
I can see how his son got everything he asked for, remote controlled toys, PSP’s, DVD player, and everything. That bothers me, I realized why his child at five years of age been acting as if he’s at the level of his parents. He got used to the thought that his parents would buy everything he asked.
Giving what their child wants is not a problem, but they seem to miss giving him the parental guidance and the moral values to control his attitude.
I remember going through the same as with my friend during my childhood days. I woke up as early as four o’clock, assist my grandparents in the rice field, looking at other kids playing with their toys, eating simple foods and fruits I gather at the forest. Life was simple but fun. I missed it.
I don’t have any resentment for what I have been through. My experience has taught me how to value work and spend my time efficiently, to love and respect my parents more and more each day as I understand how hard they have been going through by experiencing their work myself. I’m sure my friend been the same.
The bible says “Train up a child when he is young, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6). It is not wrong to give our kids everything they ask for but let us not forget to show them the real values they should learn out of it.
It’s not bad to make them work a little so they would understand how hard it is to make money. Besides, it’s a good exercise.
What we are making them today will determine what they will be tomorrow. Let us and our experience be their lesson.

Did I Mary the Right Person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, “How do I know if I married the right person?"

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, “It Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?"

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet." Think about the Imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happens TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find” LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the expression “the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy, and most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),

There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can “make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a “decision"... Not just a feeling…

(this is an excerpt from an email. Author unknown)

How To Dance In The Rain

How To Dance In The Rain

(author unknown)

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that is in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

We all want to receive this kind of love, but somehow, I think the better part is to be able to give this kind of love. “While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Rom. 5:8) The beautiful thing about Christ’s act on the Cross is that He has prepared a way for us to love like that through Him.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain.'

…still learning how to give and receive this kind of love.

Gary and Michelle

Source: Tentmaker Online
http://www.tentmaker.org/newinspiration/index.html

How Brats are Created

Who says only valuable jewelries can become heirlooms?

My daughter showed me a copy of a letter written by her friend's Dad > on her 13th birthday. A few months after he wrote it, he died of a heart attack. Today, this letter is regarded as a family heirloom, shared not just with the immediate members of the family, but shown  proudly to relatives and friends alike.

 I felt the message in this beautiful letter should be shared with as many people as possible. So I asked my daughter if her friend -- the letter's addressee -- would allow me to reprint it in BusinessWorld.  She said there shouldn't be a problem, except that a note should probably precede the letter asking the readers to share this with  their young married children. Hah!, a not-so-subtle inference that  BusinessWorld readers are not exactly "young parents" anymore.

So, dear readers, do share this letter with your young married children. They will certainly find this letter -- as I did -- a very insightful treatise on how brats are created.

 

"Daughter Dearest

"Happy 13th Birthday!

"When you came to this world 13 years ago, you brought your Mom and I a lot of joy! We've always wanted a daughter and God in His wisdom gifted us with you.

 

"This is not to cast any aspersions at your four older brothers; they are also a great blessing and we love them very much, but boys are boys, and I look forward to the day when I am old and gray to have you by my side. I can't see this happening with your brothers; you know what I mean, as we have talked about this at the dining-room table many a time.

 

"You have also heard me say that we are gifted with a lot of material wealth. That's something we should be very grateful to the Lord about, but we should be aware that this has been loaned to us, as you too are loaned to us by God and that we will be asked to give a full accounting when our day of reckoning comes.

 

"The reason for this letter is to warn you about one big, big danger you and your brothers may face in the next few years. I have seen it happen in other families. I don't want to see it happen here.

 

"I am referring to having you guys grow up as brats!" 'Brat-manship' is the process one has to go through to become a brat! "Unfortunately, it is an ailment imposed by parents! They are the  creators of the brats! "In their desire to try to save their children from the difficulties they have been through, they do whatever possible to shield them from this. Little do they realize, that it is precisely these difficulties that have made them successful. Their love for their children may make  them overprotective. They may even prevent them from taking public transportation. They come up with all sorts of rationalizations, going by public transportation is not safe, the buses are too crowded, the fumes on the road are bad for ones health, and so on!

 

"They mean well, but in the process, they deprive their children of what it really means to live in a city like Manila which is comprised of two strata of society -- the 'haves' and the 'have-nots!' And sad to say some of 'the haves' live in their little world. Unaware of that sampaguita vendor, drenched in the rain, so that her siblings may get a least one meal that day.

 

"The other day, I was with an elderly wise gentleman, we are at the Polo Club waiting for his car. There was a girl, about your age. She, too, was waiting for her car. When her vehicle got there, she jumped into the front seat, and as she did, tossed her beautiful pair of riding boots into the back seat. She then asked the driver if her Mom was home. 'Wala po! Nagma-mah jong (She's not home. She's playing mah-jong),' came the reply! The car drove off.

 

"My friend turned to me and said, 'There is an example of the underprivileged rich.' Then he followed with, 'They have everything and they have nothing.'

 

"This incident, short as it was, left me with a deep impression. I guess this is why I am writing this letter.

 

"Your Mom and I have tried to raise you kids to realize that our country is made up of the very rich and those who may not even have enough to have one decent meal a day.

 

I hope you never lose sight of this. This is why we have taken it upon ourselves to adopt a squatter family during Christmas and share with them some of some things to make their Christmas more meaningful. In the process, we hope that you and your brothers will appreciate the  conditions we live in. In the process, I hope that you always have compassion for these lesser fortunate. So that next time you see that sampaguita vendor knocking at our car window drenched in rain you do not get annoyed, but instead pull out your wallet and share with her in a small way your allowance.

 

"You will notice your brothers take public transportation to go to UP. It's not that we can't afford another car; we can't afford for them to grow up thinking that its part of their 'birth right' to be in the ruling class.

 

"This is why we insisted that you do your bed in the morning, and to pick up your own toys and cloths, rather than have a yaya trailing you.

 

"And I could go on and on. As you are apt to say, 'You catch my drift!'

 

"When you feel you are not getting enough money in your allowance, or get new shoes like your friends always had or the latest fad of Guess jeans, take this letter out and reread what I have written.

 

"We love you far too much to create a brat!

 

"Your Loving Father"